I'm lost, I'm lost
don't hear a sound.
I'm lost, I'm lost
will I be found?
Will I wander forever,
where the wind swirls?
Will I be stuck here
in between worlds?
Will the light come,
and all be revealed?
Will I recover at all,
will my wounds be healed?
I want out of this darkness,
but can't figure out how.
Alright I'll be good,
will you let me out now?
This punishment is,
much to severe.
Are you kidding me?
Almost 4 fucking years!
Almost 4 years of solitary,
this confinement's to long.
And there is no end in sight,
but I will remain strong.
by Ricky Silva, june 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
YOU LIVE, YOU LEARN
Think back in time,
of all that you learned.
The fire blazes hotly,
step close and get burned.
Just because it shines,
doesn't mean that it's gold.
Don't believe in everything,
that you are told.
Sticks and stones,
may break your bones.
And you don't do it all,
on your very own.
It's ok now and then,
to shed a tear.
Don't be afraid,
to face all your fears.
Watch your step,
so you don't trip.
Once you start something,
never do you quit.
Knowledge from experience,
is the key to the kingdom.
And this knowledge put to use,
is the essence of wisdom.
by Ricky Silva, june 2013
of all that you learned.
The fire blazes hotly,
step close and get burned.
Just because it shines,
doesn't mean that it's gold.
Don't believe in everything,
that you are told.
Sticks and stones,
may break your bones.
And you don't do it all,
on your very own.
It's ok now and then,
to shed a tear.
Don't be afraid,
to face all your fears.
Watch your step,
so you don't trip.
Once you start something,
never do you quit.
Knowledge from experience,
is the key to the kingdom.
And this knowledge put to use,
is the essence of wisdom.
by Ricky Silva, june 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
JUNE 11, 2013
For all the people following my blog: THANKS!
Shit is real crazy here right now. The officers have got it in their head to stop all communicating. We can talk to each other out our back window or through the air vent but now the correctional officers are cracking down on it. When they catch you talking on your window or vent they skipping your next meal. They are not suppose to do that, you're suppose to get 3 meals no matter what, but the officers know that everybody is hungry back here. So they do that because it hurts more than a write up does and it's easier for them because they don't even have to do paperwork on it.
The abuse of power is rigorously. They just yesterday while someone was handcuffed and shackled, as we always are when we come out of our cell, punched a defenseless man in his head 2 times draining blood to teach him a lesson!!
Are prisoners not being taught their lesson with the loss of their freedom?
Should all of this be going on? If it was your relative, would you accept this?
Does everyone who commits a crime deserve this?
Everyone is entitled to an own opinion. In my opinion it's to much. How about you? If you're reading this the subject must interest you. So, what do you think? Let me know how you feel. Maybe you agree or maybe don't. Maybe my view is wrong.
Well, that's it for now.
Until next time
Sincerely
Ricky
Shit is real crazy here right now. The officers have got it in their head to stop all communicating. We can talk to each other out our back window or through the air vent but now the correctional officers are cracking down on it. When they catch you talking on your window or vent they skipping your next meal. They are not suppose to do that, you're suppose to get 3 meals no matter what, but the officers know that everybody is hungry back here. So they do that because it hurts more than a write up does and it's easier for them because they don't even have to do paperwork on it.
The abuse of power is rigorously. They just yesterday while someone was handcuffed and shackled, as we always are when we come out of our cell, punched a defenseless man in his head 2 times draining blood to teach him a lesson!!
Are prisoners not being taught their lesson with the loss of their freedom?
Should all of this be going on? If it was your relative, would you accept this?
Does everyone who commits a crime deserve this?
Everyone is entitled to an own opinion. In my opinion it's to much. How about you? If you're reading this the subject must interest you. So, what do you think? Let me know how you feel. Maybe you agree or maybe don't. Maybe my view is wrong.
Well, that's it for now.
Until next time
Sincerely
Ricky
Ricky Silva DC# L24722
Florida State Prison
7819 N.W. 228th street
Raiford, Florida 32026
U.S.A.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
24 QUESTIONS
If you're surrounded by nothing, can you feel trapped?
Should you sit back and watch, as your world comes unwrapped?
If life ended right now, where would you stand?
Have you reached your goals, fulfilled your plan?
Have you loved your neighbor, like we know we should?
Have you helped another, at times when you could?
Have you loved someone and that love wasn't returned?
Have you given chances to people and than been burned?
Have you burned someone else, when they gave you a chance?
Have you ever been a victim, of bad circumstance?
Reached out for help and no one was there?
Or someone reached out o you, but you didn't care?
Do you learn from mistakes, once there are done?
Do you believe you have faults or are you the perfect one?
Am I a waste of life, because of my incarceration?
Do you believe in being ready, in great preperation?
Should we be forgiven, for a life we choose to live?
Is it hard for you as a person, to let go and to forgive?
You ever not want to admitt it, but were filled with fear?
Ever been confused in life, yet said it was all clear?
Ever have good things happen and credit it to good luck?
Ever feel yourself dieing, but didn't give a fuck?
Tired of my questions? I don't blame you.
But nobody is perfect, isn't that true?
by Ricky Silva, may 2013
_____________________________________________________________________
If you have been following my blog i hope it's not boring you to death as I sit in my cell surrounded by steel. I enjoy writing and I'm trying to do something productive so I don't feel like such a loser. The poem is a lot of questions, questions I often at one point or another had to ask myself.
I hope your answers make you feel better about yourself then my answers made me feel. Feel free to comment on them or ask some of your own, that is completely up to you.
I promised to tell about some of the people on my wing and then they up and moved me. Things are more secluded here, the cells are farther apart and communication is difficult. We must scream to be heard and that pisses off the guards. We can talk out our window but if we get caught we get written up or they don't feed us the next meal. I know, crazy but once I get readjusted to my new home I will fill in the blanks on my blog.
Please understand, I realize a lot of people who read this are not going to like me or are not gonna agree with a lot of the things I say. These are just my thoughts. I can respect anybodies point of view and in fact would love to hear any feedback, positive or negative. I am open-minded and will accept all feedback. So untill next time I reside in and write to you from a box made of concrete, I reach out anyway.
Sincerely
Ricky
Should you sit back and watch, as your world comes unwrapped?
If life ended right now, where would you stand?
Have you reached your goals, fulfilled your plan?
Have you loved your neighbor, like we know we should?
Have you helped another, at times when you could?
Have you loved someone and that love wasn't returned?
Have you given chances to people and than been burned?
Have you burned someone else, when they gave you a chance?
Have you ever been a victim, of bad circumstance?
Reached out for help and no one was there?
Or someone reached out o you, but you didn't care?
Do you learn from mistakes, once there are done?
Do you believe you have faults or are you the perfect one?
Am I a waste of life, because of my incarceration?
Do you believe in being ready, in great preperation?
Should we be forgiven, for a life we choose to live?
Is it hard for you as a person, to let go and to forgive?
You ever not want to admitt it, but were filled with fear?
Ever been confused in life, yet said it was all clear?
Ever have good things happen and credit it to good luck?
Ever feel yourself dieing, but didn't give a fuck?
Tired of my questions? I don't blame you.
But nobody is perfect, isn't that true?
by Ricky Silva, may 2013
_____________________________________________________________________
If you have been following my blog i hope it's not boring you to death as I sit in my cell surrounded by steel. I enjoy writing and I'm trying to do something productive so I don't feel like such a loser. The poem is a lot of questions, questions I often at one point or another had to ask myself.
I hope your answers make you feel better about yourself then my answers made me feel. Feel free to comment on them or ask some of your own, that is completely up to you.
I promised to tell about some of the people on my wing and then they up and moved me. Things are more secluded here, the cells are farther apart and communication is difficult. We must scream to be heard and that pisses off the guards. We can talk out our window but if we get caught we get written up or they don't feed us the next meal. I know, crazy but once I get readjusted to my new home I will fill in the blanks on my blog.
Please understand, I realize a lot of people who read this are not going to like me or are not gonna agree with a lot of the things I say. These are just my thoughts. I can respect anybodies point of view and in fact would love to hear any feedback, positive or negative. I am open-minded and will accept all feedback. So untill next time I reside in and write to you from a box made of concrete, I reach out anyway.
Sincerely
Ricky
Ricky Silva DC# L24722
Florida State Prison
7819 N.W. 228th street
Raiford, Florida 32026
U.S.A.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
SINGING WIND
The wind sings,
as it blows along.
And with it's voice,
comes a beautiful song.
A song for the birds,
that soar up high.
And for a gentle doe,
who wishes to fly.
A song for the lion,
who gives a roaring rumble.
To claim his place,
as king of the jungle.
A song for the sea gulls,
who above the ocean float.
And for all the dolphins,
circling the boats.
The wind sings a song,
and it's quite a tune.
We should cherish this song,
for it could be over soon.
The wind sings note efter note,
with a joyous breath.
The only time the song stops,
is with the coming of death.
The wind sings,
as it blows along.
And with it's voice,
comes a beautiful song.
by Ricky Silva, may 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
THOUGHTS ON MEMORIAL DAY
A criminals mind often produces choices that the avarage person wouldn't make. For some they're a product of their environment. They know no other way of life. Is that an excuse? Yes.
But the real question is not if it's an excuse, it's if it excuses. And the answer to that is no.
I'm not saying criminals like myself don't deserve to be punished. But like I wrote in the poem on my blog, where does the punishment exceed being productive and just become cruel? To be locked away for life with no chance of parole for crimes in which no one was hurt or for petty theft based on a 3 strike law? In some ways I agree rather than take all hope away from a human being by locking him away forever. Shit, it would be less punishment to have a bullet in your head and it being over with. Not saying that's my solution but there have been times when I welcomed death over this solitary that's attempting to kill my mind.
And for every one criminal that is a product of addiction or poverty there is one that is just plain evil who cares for nothing an no one. I can't really relate to this kind of mindset because that is not how I think. To do things with no remorse and care for nothing but yourself or your own personal gain seems harsh beyond my understanding.
I had to face the victims in my robberies cases during the trial I had for the murder of another inmate while in prison and though I felt no remorse for killing the inmate I felt great remorse for the trauma I put the victims in my robberies cases through.
I know in a lot of peoples minds no inmate has good in them. And I will be the first to say I did some real shitty things and I guess the reason that I did them really doesn't matter. The result of what I did is the same either way.
However though it may be thought that no inmate has any good in them. In my opinion NOW every human being including inmates has some good in them. Even the man I killed must of had some good in him. And though I can't yet forgive him for desecrating a picture of my 9 year old niece. I have come to the point where I can't yet forgive myself for taking his life. There are times when I feel he deserved it but the bottom line is, it wasn't my choice to make.
That being said there are many men in solitary for very long periods of time and a lot of us have done some shitty things but we're not all pieces of shit that should be locked away in a small cell forever. What if all you had to look at each day was those cell walls for not a day or two but a year or two? It's cruelness, it really is. I'm making it but it isn't easy and it is harder on some than others. You feel I'm not worthy than why not find a convict that you feel is worthy and reach out to him. A letter now and then may be the difference between a good day and finally going insane. And I'm not being funny, being totally honest.
Please understand when I write about things, I may not be talking just about my situation I may be speaking in general and most of what I say is just my opinion. And opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. :)
I'm posting at least one more poem. Poems posted are all written by me. Maybe garbage that doesn't make sense but hell, they came right out of my head. I will try to keep posting each week.
Sincerely,
a caged man
Ricky
Ricky Silva DC# L24722
Florida State Prison
7819 N.W. 228th street
Raiford, Florida 32026
U.S.A.
But the real question is not if it's an excuse, it's if it excuses. And the answer to that is no.
I'm not saying criminals like myself don't deserve to be punished. But like I wrote in the poem on my blog, where does the punishment exceed being productive and just become cruel? To be locked away for life with no chance of parole for crimes in which no one was hurt or for petty theft based on a 3 strike law? In some ways I agree rather than take all hope away from a human being by locking him away forever. Shit, it would be less punishment to have a bullet in your head and it being over with. Not saying that's my solution but there have been times when I welcomed death over this solitary that's attempting to kill my mind.
And for every one criminal that is a product of addiction or poverty there is one that is just plain evil who cares for nothing an no one. I can't really relate to this kind of mindset because that is not how I think. To do things with no remorse and care for nothing but yourself or your own personal gain seems harsh beyond my understanding.
I had to face the victims in my robberies cases during the trial I had for the murder of another inmate while in prison and though I felt no remorse for killing the inmate I felt great remorse for the trauma I put the victims in my robberies cases through.
I know in a lot of peoples minds no inmate has good in them. And I will be the first to say I did some real shitty things and I guess the reason that I did them really doesn't matter. The result of what I did is the same either way.
However though it may be thought that no inmate has any good in them. In my opinion NOW every human being including inmates has some good in them. Even the man I killed must of had some good in him. And though I can't yet forgive him for desecrating a picture of my 9 year old niece. I have come to the point where I can't yet forgive myself for taking his life. There are times when I feel he deserved it but the bottom line is, it wasn't my choice to make.
That being said there are many men in solitary for very long periods of time and a lot of us have done some shitty things but we're not all pieces of shit that should be locked away in a small cell forever. What if all you had to look at each day was those cell walls for not a day or two but a year or two? It's cruelness, it really is. I'm making it but it isn't easy and it is harder on some than others. You feel I'm not worthy than why not find a convict that you feel is worthy and reach out to him. A letter now and then may be the difference between a good day and finally going insane. And I'm not being funny, being totally honest.
Please understand when I write about things, I may not be talking just about my situation I may be speaking in general and most of what I say is just my opinion. And opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. :)
I'm posting at least one more poem. Poems posted are all written by me. Maybe garbage that doesn't make sense but hell, they came right out of my head. I will try to keep posting each week.
Sincerely,
a caged man
Ricky
Ricky Silva DC# L24722
Florida State Prison
7819 N.W. 228th street
Raiford, Florida 32026
U.S.A.
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