GLASS WINDOW

GLASS WINDOW

tues July 2

Outside my window, when often I look.

I see so much failure, to many chances took.

I see very little sunshine, and a whole lot of rain.

I see despair and misery, smiling at pain.

I see a forest of hate, raw and true.

I see all the insanity, coming unglued.

I see a river of blood, with a current so swift.

I see a heart ripped out, presented as a gift.

I look out my window, and see a bird in a cage.

I see frustration and anger, even simmering rage.

I see so much, I have learned to despise.

I see murderous intent, staring into my eyes.

When I look out my window, I see the pain of years

and slowly but surely, my eyes fill up with tears.

Because it's not a window at all, it's a mirror, you see?

And all that's in my eyes, staring back at me.

by Ricky Silva, July 2013

STAYING POSITIVE

I stare out of my cage,

at the fences and wire. 

I was so full of fight,

but I'm beginning to tire.

I once walked straight,

head held tall.

But it's been a long journey,

behind these walls.

I'm not ready to give up,

at least not yet. 

But I lack something to look forward to,

and I'm filled with regret.

As I lay down at night,
on this thin piece of steel.
I get often confused,
about the way that I feel.

Sometimes wild forms of anger,
fill my emptiness inside.
And then there is the sadness,
that often choose to hide.

But with each and every breathe,
life will go on.
And to all the hate and negativity,
I choose not to respond.

I've come across a lot of wisdom,
but have so much to learn.
So if today it's not productive,
it is not my concern.

by Ricky Silva, July 2013

F.S.P.

Florida State Prison (F.S.P.).

The place where I lay my head. The home of over 1000 convicts all of which are on long term solitary confinement. Better known as "close management". All confined to a cell alone. There are no roommates here. All of the convicts here started on 1 of the 3 levels. None will leave solitary in less than 6 month and most will be here a few years.

You go up in front of the review board every 6 months but it's a joke because even if you have no write ups for those 6 months they will keep you on the same level based on whatever excuse they decide to give.

I have just made level 2. I was on level 1 for almost 4 years. So it's a real kangaroo court. 

There are 90 or 95 cells on each wing. All cells are pretty much built the same. There are many fences and towers surrounding the prison and hundreds of cages used for outdoor recreation. There are 3 guards posted on each wing at any given time. Every time you leave your cell you are handcuffed through your food flap befor they even open your door. They take no chances. So there is almost no risk to their safety. 

When I say all cells are built the same I mean: metal sink, metal toilet, foot locker (to store property), a thin sheet of metal protruding from the wall to place your mattress "mat" on. A window in the back of the cell that fortunately we are able to open and close as we choose. Not that F.S.P. is good but it's a little better than some of the solitary units I have heard about across the country. 

There are some cases of severe violence or even murder when a convict manages to take off his restraints or is on level 3 where they don't always use handcuffs or shackles because level 3 is a lesser security level. But other than that there is not a whole lot of physical violence. Just a lot of people making empty threats, yelling at someone out of their window. 

Most are happy to be in a cell by themselves for all different reasons. Some are scared to have a roommate, some like the solitude and the freedom of not sharing any space.

I personally am not sure if I would want a roommate or not. Some close management camps have roommates. I will explain about that and my choice in the next post.

Until than, be safe.

one man caged
Ricky

Ricky Silva DC# L24722

Florida State Prison

7819 N.W. 228th street

Raiford, Florida 32026

U.S.A.

LAW OF THE LAND

Wandering softly,
through the forest one night.
I came across a bear,
spoiling for a fight.

You woke me up of hibernation,
for that you must pay.
But first I will listen,
to what you have to say.

No one has ever come,
and woke me out of my sleep.
What do you have to say,
you pathetic little creep?

I'm sorry Mr Bear,
please don't kill me.
Look, I left a basket of food,
under that tree.

So you seek to bribe me with food,
but that won't work.
I will still kill you,
but I'll eat your food first.

But as the bear turned,
he felt a spear in his heart.
He looked back at me,
from a few feed apart.

He said you tricked me,
you cheating little man.
I said I did nothing at all,
but live by the law of your land.

by Ricky Silva, August 2013

THE LAWS OF THE LAND

Hello, I'm back!
By now you have read about my friend who committed suicide in December 2012. This is the kind of things that happen. Solitary confinement on a long term basis effects the mind deeply. He was not weak minded but there is only so much one person can take.

I told in the last post of th law of the land. In my mind it goes like this:
Every land has their own laws. Those laws to us may seem unfair, unjust or even uncivilized. Yet if we choose to travel to that land, reguardless of how we feel, we must live by those laws.
About 20 years ago you mind remember a case where a teenage American boy was caught spray painting a van in Singapore. The sentence for the vandalism charge was 8 strokes by the cane (he was caned 8 times). Harsh punishment for such a small offense. Well it gets worse, after 4 strokes of the cane the boy passed out from the pain. And guess what, they wouldn't finish they waited for him to become awake again to be sure he could feel every stroke of the cane.

They did this to a teenage American and there was nothing America could do. You can guess why?
Because the boy was in a foreign land and even if we feel the laws are unfair we must honor them.

Well it's the same way in prison. You may not agree with the way things are done or you might be repulsed by the savage way some people live around you. But the laws are the laws. So you devise a way to keep yourself from becoming a complete animal and yet still survive around a lot of people who may not even care if they are human.

You must respect the laws of the land you live in and you must demand the same of the people around you. If the laws require violence you provide for it because if you don't it will be you that suffer and maybe in a way you will never recover from.

As I said this is just my point of view. You may have some convicts who say they don't honor any laws but their own. But I would say they are full of shit or they won't last long that way. But hey, that's just my point of view.

They moved me from one prison to another in May 2013. Now I'm in Florida State Prison and I will tell you about that in my next post.
Be safe.

one man caged
Ricky

Ricky Silva DC# L24722

Florida State Prison

7819 N.W. 228th street

Raiford, Florida 32026

U.S.A.